


Locked

by TheLonelyShadeOfPastelBlue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9570701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLonelyShadeOfPastelBlue/pseuds/TheLonelyShadeOfPastelBlue
Summary: Kageyama struggling around his emotions.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This subject is something what I have wanted to write for a while. I wrote this based to my own struggling with my own emotion lock. And I chose Kageyama, since he kinda fitted for the role best. Another one could be Kenma, but... Kageyama it is.
> 
> I'm little bit rusty with my writing, since I haven't wrote for a while, but I'm gonna shake it off. Just bear with me.
> 
> Hope you like it :)

Kageyama knew the lock. You know. The emotion lock. You've been struggling with your depression for a years. There has been ups and downs. Mostly downs. Expecially when you lost your everything in junior high school.

You felt so frustrated when you saw how obviously your teammates didn't even try.

Why? Well yeah, you won. But you won halfheartedly. You couldn't count that. It was so frustrating.

You've been looking your team's half-assed playing for a whole of your junior high and you're so done with it.

You can't feel joy, even if you won. You can't feel anything.

And when you met someone who could've had o beat you, he had fuck'd up his training for his whole junior high. Or so you thought he had.

You didn't know. But it didn't change anything. He could've beat you. If he'd taken his playing seriously.

You met him again. Who would've thought you'd be in a same team with him? And you'd win with him.

And it felt so good. Finally there was someone who wanted to take your tosses. There was finally someone you can trust.

You wanted to show them. For months you've been training with them. You've wanted to show your gratitude for to belong in the team. For belonging in their family. But you can't.

You feel like crying, but you can't. You can't show anything real.  
That's so fucked up.

And that's what's killing you. If you feel joy, you can't show it. If you're sad, you can't show it.

~You're just an coldhearted king. Emotionless. Ice cold.~

How you could explane your feelings. No one belived you.  
Except HIM. He was whole joy and life itself. Happy.  
You won. And lost.

You need the trigger. You're _begging_  for the trigger.

  
All your emotions, all the joy and sadness is bottling inside of you.  
You feel the pressure. It's so close, but still so far.

You feel like shit. Even when you feel so happy, but still it doesn't feel right. What's the point?

Give me the trigger.  
Somebody.  
Please.

I feel something towards him. That god damned Dumbass.  
But I don't know what.  
I wanna cry.

I feel so happy with him.  
But no-one can see it.

I love his way of living.  
Always so happy. So positive.  
And that smile.  
I can't do that.

I try to smile like you, but it turns so creepy. I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't even try.

I wanna cry. Open my locks. Please.

I'm so fed up to feel like worthless shit.

I'm begging you.

Could you be the key, Hinata?

I love you.

I just wanna open my locks. I wanna feel something.

I wanna cry.

I wanna cry so bad.

I need it.

Open my locks.

You have the key, Shouyou.

You can do it for me.

Can you?

Am I worth it?


End file.
